#68: Jessi and the Bad Baby-sitter

This book should be called Jessi and the Bad Baby-sitter and Also the Hilarious Baby-sitter. The Hilarious Baby-sitter is Kristy. But first, a Claudia outfit.

"For example, today she was wearing an oversized white shirt under a black vest covered with a design of shiny beads. (She sewed the beads on it herself.) She wore neon green leggings and black ballet slippers (on which she'd sewn a matching bead design). From one of her pierced ears hung a dangling earring made from the same beads and on the other ear she wore a small green hoop earring. It was an original look that only Claudia could make work."

I've realized that my tendency to overuse parentheses is a direct result of reading too many BSC books as a child. My college professors couldn't even beat it out of me; that's how ingrained in my psyche these damn books are. I may need professional help.

So that's about it for fashion. On a positive note, the folks at Scholastic must've been having a grand ol' time (read: they'd been drinking) when they put this book together, because it is full of hilarity. Except for the b plot about Margo Pike shoplifting troll dolls, but in hindsight that's unintentionally hilarious, too. Come on, Margo. A ring with a troll doll on it? Dream bigger.

Kristy Has A Flair For The Dramatic:

"Kristy was right beside me so I handed her the phone.

That might have been a mistake.

'Dawn, you have to come home, like, right away,' she said urgently into the phone. 'No, I'm not kidding. We're in a mess here and we need you back.'

'You're going to make her feel bad,' said Mary Anne, reaching out to take the phone from Kristy.

Kristy turned away from Mary Anne, still talking into the phone. 'Yes, that was Mary Anne. . . . No, you can't talk to her until you swear you'll come back right away.'

Mary Anne reached around and scooped the phone out of Kristy's hand. 'Don't pay attention to her,' she told Dawn. 'We're doing all right.'

'No, we're not!' Kristy shouted into the mouthpiece."

No wonder she got the role of Peter Pan. BSC President, master thespian . . . is there anything she can't do? (Besides walk in heels, that is.)

Kristy Might As Well Take Over Writing This Blog:

"'Dawn!' she screamed excitedly. We could hear her all the way down in the living room. Instantly we thundered up the stairs to join in on the phone call.

'We just finished watching your video,' Claudia was telling her as we ran into the room. 'It was great!' Claudia cupped her hand around the phone and turned to us. 'It's Dawn.'

'Duh,' said Kristy."

I should be taking notes from this bitch. Snark doesn't have to be wordy. Sometimes a simple yet eloquent "duh" will suffice. Point taken, Thomas. Point taken.