Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Mystery #1: Stacey and the Missing Ring

America's favorite baby-sitters are detectives, too, guys! As implausible as that may be!

So Stacey wants a diamond ring, and isn't content to wait for, you know, adulthood. She's convinced she needs a diamond birthstone ring RIGHT NOW. At age 13. And pits her mother and father against each other when Mrs. McGill 'bitch please'-es her. And the rest of the babysitters are kind of uncomfortable about it.

"'I wouldn't dare to ask my parents for a diamond ring," said Mallory [sensibly]. 'Even if it was my birthstone.'

'But it is totally gorgeous, don't you think?' I asked.

Everybody nodded, but they looked a little overwhelmed. I wished they could have been more on my side. I wanted Claud to say 'You deserve a ring like that, Stacey, and your mother's a meanie not to buy it for you.' But she didn't say that."

Oh, guuuuuurl. Of course she didn't. Claudia can't even get her parents to buy her a buttered popcorn when they go to the movies together.

Stacey's diamond-lust unfortunately corresponds with her babysitting job for a new client, a really rich client with lots of bling. You see where this is going (if you don't, refer back to the title). Ring disappears, the BSC gets less calls then usual, everyone weeps gently, Claudia none-too-stealthily searches Stacey's room for the ring, the ring turns out to have been stolen by Rich Client's Klepto-Cat, all is well, Stacey continues to be massively spoiled.

"'And by the way, I may get the birthstone ring after all,' I said. 'My mom told me last night that she and my dad talked about it, and they might go in together to get it for me for my next birthday - or for Christmas, or some other special occasion.'"

Like her next perm. God, it's nice to be Stacey, isn't it? (Okay, fine, she has diabetes. Whatever. I have Crohn's disease, you don't see ME telling you about it in detail every time I write an entry. But maybe I will from now on. From now on, every entry will have a Chapter Two, in which we talk about Kim's Great Idea for a BSC/fashion blog, and Kim's Health Woes, and the number of siblings Kim has. I can tell you're already riveted!)

Anyway. Fashion. Now with fun titles!

Charlie Gets In A Good One:
"'Mmmm,' I said. 'Somebody smells good. What is that smell?'

'Must be my new shampoo,' answered Dawn. 'It's called Wildflower Wash.' She tossed her hair, and I could smell the sweet scent again.

Charlie coughed. 'Smells more like Accident in the Perfume Factory to me,' he said."

Claudia Has A "Current Favorite Mall Outfit":
"Claud looked terrific in black leggings, red high-top sneakers, and an oversized red sweater. She was carrying a red plastic lunch box as a purse."

That is so unfair. In high school, I thought it would be funny to bring my lunch in my second-grade Barbie lunch box, and everyone just thought I was weird. I mean, I was weird. But still. Where's my kudos?

T-Shirts Are California Casual; Don't Get Between Claudia And A Pair Of Sneakers:
"Dawn loves the T-shirt store, so we spent some time in there. She tried to decide between a blue shirt with a picture of whales on it and a yellow one that said 'Go For It' in big black letters, but she finally ended up getting neither. 'I don't really need a new T-shirt right now,' she said.

'I don't really need new sneakers, either,' said Claud. 'But that's not going to stop me!' She led the way to the shoe store. Claud has the biggest sneaker collection of anyone I know, I swear. She's got red ones (two other pairs besides the ones she was wearing that day) and purple ones and black ones and white ones and polka-dotted ones. I bet she could wear a different pair of sneakers every day for a month.

'What do you think?' she asked, holding up a pair of lace-and-sequin-trimmed pink high-tops. 'Pretty cool, right?'"

Fun fact: Claudia wears a size seven.

Claudia Is Some Sort Of Bizarre Fashion Idiot Savant:
"Something was definitely up. Claud always pays a lot of attention to clothes. She can remember every outfit she's worn to school over a season, and she tries never to repeat the exact same outfit."

Did I mention that Claudia made Stacey an apology gift (you know, for accusing her of stealing and whatnot)? Yeah. "An earcuff (a very cool accessory these days) with a collection of blue stones and beads hanging from it." She is good to you, McGill. Some might say too good.


Abbie said...

Yay! updation.

andrea jean said...

How could you consider buying a T-shirt that SAYS "Go for it" and not buy it?!

Claud's red and black outfit is so American Apparel (with a hint of Delia*s due to the lunchbox).

Nathalie said...

I thought Stacey got everything she wanted BECAUSE of her diabetes, like at summer camp, she got to have an apple. No one else got an apple for lunch. Her parents should get her letter rhinestones tattoos that spell out D-I-A-B-E-T-E-S.

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nikki said...

I wish Claud would make me an ear cuff.

Nathalie said...
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RMb said...

i have to be honest. if i could marry your blog (and not have it be considered "cheating on my husband") i totally would. :)

Fraulein Maria said...

WTF is the Tshirt store?!

Laura @ Hungry and Frozen said...

I love the convenient *obsession with diamonds* that appears just before the *client with diamonds* calls. Way to kick off the mystery series with a complete non-mystery - this so could have been just another book in the series. Love Charlie's snarky comment. I do like Claudia's outfit but apart from the lunchbox it seems almost sadly tame, no?

Brandy Gore said...

I must say that I am pleased about your update. I am delurking, and I was disappointed to have come across you during a break or end. Love this site. Everyone thought I was Claudia (minus the junk food hiding fetish and sense of fashion... guess it was just because I'm Asian).

And yes, Stacey got way too much attention because of her diabetes.

Sewing Pixie said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH I love your blog. It's like, crack but for me! and not harmful.

Anne-Marie said...

LOVE IT! Your blog is the best!!

SpondyGirl said...

I'm a new reader, I just wanted to let you know I linked to you, and LOVE LOVE LOVE your blog.

Nina said...

How could you consider buying a T-shirt that SAYS "Go for it" and not buy it?!

I wonder the same.

Mrs.M in MI said...

Not only did I carry my old metal Sesame Street lunchbox as a purse in junior high, I loved it so much that I thrifted a COLLECTION of lunch boxes to carry as purses. We were just too awesome, Kim.

Cathy said...

Mallory would TOTALLY ask her parents for a diamond ring - along with a haircut, pierced ears, and a new wardrobe.

Meg said...

Crohn's disease is way worse than diabetes, imho. Seriously, anyone who has to put up with it *deserves* diamonds.

Robyn said...

How much do I love your blog? Let me count the ways...

On a shopping note, this ring isn't exactly the same as that fantastic digby and iona ring... but it's pretty similar and a whole lot less:


~Robyn, Chi-Chi 

Millie said...

your blog has totally inspired me to start my own....

Thank you!

Lauren said...

I'm pretty sure the pink-sequins-and-lace high-tops are even higher than the famous cities skirt on my list of BSC Fashion I Most Need to Own.

Robyn said...

Also, I featured you as one of my links of the week for Funsies Friday Stop by and check it out!


Lucie said...

Totally love your blog. Aweeeeesome


aimee said...

Hey Kim!
You're slacking!

Becky Mochaface said...

I totally took my lunch to high school in my old elementary school lunch box. My Little Ponies if I remember correctly. I'm sure someone thought I was weird. Though I don't remember anyone ever telling me so.

Just found your blog today. I'm going to make my way through your archives and add you to my reader because da-yum girl. High-larious stuff you got going on.

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