Tuesday, May 18, 2010

#24: Kristy and the Mother's Day Surprise

Personally, I'm surprised that the other babysitters abandoned her with that horde of children. But maybe they couldn't bear to be seen with her in those jeans. Let's squint at them (the jeans, not the AWOL babysitters) in a concerned fashion.
Problems with Kristy's jeans:
1. the color
2. the waistline (Urkel-high)
3. the probable elastic waistband
4. the ankle sock-exposing cuffs
5. everything, just everything.

"My friends shifted position and I looked at them as I tried to figure out how to explain my great idea. Mallory, with her new short haircut, was sitting on the floor, leaning against Claud's bed. She was wearing jeans with zippers up the bottoms of the legs, and a sweat shirt that said STONEYBROOK MIDDLE SCHOOL across the front. In her newly pierced ears were tiny gold hoops.

Jessi was wearing matching hoops (I think she and Mal had gone shopping together), a purple dance leotard [it occurs to me that Jessi is courting some serious yeast infection issues with all these leotards, and also oh my god I can't believe I just wrote that], and jeans. Over the leotard she was wearing a purple-and-white striped shirt, unbuttoned.

On the bed, in a row, sat Mary Anne, Dawn, and Claudia, watching me intently. Mary Anne's hair was pulled back in a ponytail and held in place with a black-and-white checkered bow that matched the short skirt she was wearing. Around her neck was a chain and dangling from it were gold letters that spelled out MARY ANNE.

Dawn was wearing a necklace, too, only hers said I'M AWESOME. [Because nothing endears other people to you like going around advertising how damn awesome you are. In other news, I totally want this necklace.] Honest. Where had she gotten it? California, probably. And in her double pierced ears were hoops of different sizes. See what I mean about Dawn being an individual? Also she was wearing a fairly tame [California Casual] dress, but on her feet were plaid high-top sneakers.

Then there was Claudia. She was wearing a pretty tame dress, too - with a red necktie! Then, she had on a these new, very cool roll socks. When she pushed them down just right [Just right? Is it that hard? Did they come with an instruction booklet?], they fell into three rolls. The top roll was red, the middle one was peacock blue, and the bottom one was purple. She looked as if she were wearing ice-cream cones on her feet. In her hair was a braided band in red, blue, and purple, like her socks. And dangling from her ears were - get this - spiders in webs. Ew. (But they were pretty cool.)"

Kristy was wearing her uniform. Of course. So I chose to move on to more fabulous fashion.

"She rememberized* the first time she ever met Claudia. It was the beginning of seventh grade - I think it might even have been the first day of school - and they ran into each other in the hallway. I mean, ran right into each other. Each of them was kind of mad because the other was dressed in such cool clothes - and each wanted to be the coolest. But they calmed down and became very close friends."

There's another version of this story in which they're mad because they were both wearing the same sweatshirt. Unless I just made that up, which is entirely possible. Sometimes when I go too long between entries, I start dreaming about used bookstores and BSC books that didn't actually exist. I'm always like "wow, I never even KNEW there was a lost Super Special in which the girls run the Boston Marathon!" and then I'm disappointed when I wake up.

"Now, here's a big difference between them and me. That morning, I dressed in my jeans and running shoes, a t-shirt with a picture of Beaver Cleaver on it, and my collie dog baseball cap. Then I added my SHS (Stoneybrook High School) sweat shirt that used to belong to Sam, since the weather would probably be chilly in the morning.

Stacey, however, put on a tight-fitting pink jumpsuit over a white t-shirt, lacy white socks, and those plastic shoes. What are they called - jellies? And Claudia wore a pale blue baggy shirt over black-and-blue leopard-spotted pants that tied in neat knots at her ankles. On her feet she wore purple high-tops. And they both wore all this jewelry and these accessories, like big, big earrings, and headbands with rosettes on them, and nail polish. Claudia even wore her snake bracelet. Honestly, what did they think we were going to do? Enter a fashion show?

Oh, okay, I'll admit it. They looked great. And I was a teeny bit jealous. I wouldn't even know how to dress the way they do."

That could be a good thing.

I've come up with another motto (remember my last one? Better Than Jeopardy? It really caught on) for the blog. What Claudia Wore: I'm Huge In Australia.

Okay, maybe that's not, um, exactly true. But Jo of Oxfam Australia's 3things thinks I'm pretty cool. Which is practically the same thing. Check out her interview with me, in which I pontificate on environmentally friendly fashion & our favorite babysitter.

* "which was an old word of hers meaning 'to remember something really well.'" Oh, Stacey.

19 comments:

Stephanie said...

I'm very tempted to try a Claudia inspired outfit one of these days...preferably one of the more ridiculous ones! :)

Erin said...

Jellies with socks? Really, Stacey?

cleartrampoline said...

Pretty sure I had those exact jeans in 4th grade. Ha!

nikki said...

I hope you weren't kidding about dreaming about the BSC. Because I do all the time. I have a recurring dream (nightmare?) that I'm in a used book store looking at BSC books. One time I found a whole bunch in french and I was so excited! I don't even speak french!

Jackie said...

I will always, always remember that passage about Claudia's socks. And I will always remember how ridiculous I looked, and how much my friends laughed at me, when I tried it with giant multicolored soccer socks. My bad.

sharg said...

I just read this a couple days ago! haha, your insights are so funny and unexpecting, but in a good way! :D

uglygirl said...

You ARE huge in Australia. Myself and my BSC-lovin' friends are all devoted fans. Everything I know about American candy is from reading the BSC as was all my inspiration to wear parrot earrings and high top sneakers when I was a kid (don't be too jealous - I had both). I remember loving the idea of the "ice cream" socks although fortunately I never tried to reproduce them. Also, we wear school uniforms here so I never got to experiment with leopard pants (ugh) and snake bracelets.

I have dreamed about the BSC too. Once I dreamed that they came with different covers and then it turned out that they DID come with those different covers, just not in Australia. That was freaky.

Alycia said...

It's interesting that Jessi is always in a different colored leotard when I think it is mentioned in one of the books that her dance school has a fairly strict dress code, except during special rehersals. She mentions something about the place looking like Times Square if they could dress how they wanted to.

And I have those dreams about awesome BSC books that don't really exist too. They are so sad to wake up from.

Kirsty W said...

Love you in Australia! And scare myself when I remember some of the excerpts you use, verbatum....

I just read your interview with 3 ways and I remember Dawn talking about "natural fibres like cotton" in later books... around the same time she goes awol back to the West Coast!

Shoegal said...

I also have dreams about BSC books - my favourite was when I went to a bookstore and found out that they'd published a version of BSC Little Sister books with Becca Ramsey as the protangonist.

Re: Stacey and Claudia's first meeting - you're not making stuff up. The story of their first meeting is one of those things that will be forever burned in my brain - they were both wearing off the shoulder sweat shirts and high top sneakers. Yeah, cause no other pre-teen was wearing anything like that in the eighties.

Isa said...

Yep, you're BIG in Australia! ;-D

Sadako said...

Poor Mallory. (Seriously.) She sounds like a really sad imitation of an American Apparel ad...

Christine said...

Kim, will you write a blog about the nanny? What Fran Wore? Supplemented by What Cece and Niles Said?

Angela said...

Oh god I rememberized those socks! I always dreamt of my own socks that would fall just right...sigh...
And yeps, another BSC Obsessed Aussie here too...waaaaay Better than Jeopardy!

Claire Moloko said...

LIke everyone has said,

you are big in australia :)

Nicky said...

I came across Super Special 42: Go Home Palefaces in a second-hand bookshop dream. The cover featured Claudia et al. fighting for their lives on a raft wearing their Camp Mohawk uniforms.

Seemed kinda heavy for Babysitter's Club but I'm still keen to dream-read it someday!

Whitney said...

I totally spit out my coffee when I read that yeast infection thing. dear god.

Emilie said...

I'm so sad that in The Summer Before (SPOILER!!!) they mess up Claudia and Stacey's first time meeting. They are introduced by Emily Bernstein :(

Melanie said...

The weirdest part of all these descriptions is that Kristy wears her damn jeans and t-shirt every day—what does she care about fashion? C'mon, ghostwriter.