#24: Kristy and the Mother's Day Surprise

Personally, I'm surprised that the other babysitters abandoned her with that horde of children. But maybe they couldn't bear to be seen with her in those jeans. Let's squint at them (the jeans, not the AWOL babysitters) in a concerned fashion.

Problems with Kristy's jeans:

1. the color

2. the waistline (Urkel-high)

3. the probable elastic waistband

4. the ankle sock-exposing cuffs

5. everything, just everything.

"My friends shifted position and I looked at them as I tried to figure out how to explain my great idea. Mallory, with her new short haircut, was sitting on the floor, leaning against Claud's bed. She was wearing jeans with zippers up the bottoms of the legs, and a sweat shirt that said STONEYBROOK MIDDLE SCHOOL across the front. In her newly pierced ears were tiny gold hoops.

Jessi was wearing matching hoops (I think she and Mal had gone shopping together), a purple dance leotard [it occurs to me that Jessi is courting some serious yeast infection issues with all these leotards, and also oh my god I can't believe I just wrote that], and jeans. Over the leotard she was wearing a purple-and-white striped shirt, unbuttoned.

On the bed, in a row, sat Mary Anne, Dawn, and Claudia, watching me intently. Mary Anne's hair was pulled back in a ponytail and held in place with a black-and-white checkered bow that matched the short skirt she was wearing. Around her neck was a chain and dangling from it were gold letters that spelled out MARY ANNE.

Dawn was wearing a necklace, too, only hers said I'M AWESOME. [Because nothing endears other people to you like going around advertising how damn awesome you are. In other news, I totally want this necklace.] Honest. Where had she gotten it? California, probably. And in her double pierced ears were hoops of different sizes. See what I mean about Dawn being an individual? Also she was wearing a fairly tame [California Casual] dress, but on her feet were plaid high-top sneakers.

Then there was Claudia. She was wearing a pretty tame dress, too - with a red necktie! Then, she had on a these new, very cool roll socks. When she pushed them down just right [Just right? Is it that hard? Did they come with an instruction booklet?], they fell into three rolls. The top roll was red, the middle one was peacock blue, and the bottom one was purple. She looked as if she were wearing ice-cream cones on her feet. In her hair was a braided band in red, blue, and purple, like her socks. And dangling from her ears were - get this - spiders in webs. Ew. (But they were pretty cool.)"

Kristy was wearing her uniform. Of course. So I chose to move on to more fabulous fashion.

"She rememberized* the first time she ever met Claudia. It was the beginning of seventh grade - I think it might even have been the first day of school - and they ran into each other in the hallway. I mean, ran right into each other. Each of them was kind of mad because the other was dressed in such cool clothes - and each wanted to be the coolest. But they calmed down and became very close friends."

There's another version of this story in which they're mad because they were both wearing the same sweatshirt. Unless I just made that up, which is entirely possible. Sometimes when I go too long between entries, I start dreaming about used bookstores and BSC books that didn't actually exist. I'm always like "wow, I never even KNEW there was a lost Super Special in which the girls run the Boston Marathon!" and then I'm disappointed when I wake up.

"Now, here's a big difference between them and me. That morning, I dressed in my jeans and running shoes, a t-shirt with a picture of Beaver Cleaver on it, and my collie dog baseball cap. Then I added my SHS (Stoneybrook High School) sweat shirt that used to belong to Sam, since the weather would probably be chilly in the morning.

Stacey, however, put on a tight-fitting pink jumpsuit over a white t-shirt, lacy white socks, and those plastic shoes. What are they called - jellies? And Claudia wore a pale blue baggy shirt over black-and-blue leopard-spotted pants that tied in neat knots at her ankles. On her feet she wore purple high-tops. And they both wore all this jewelry and these accessories, like big, big earrings, and headbands with rosettes on them, and nail polish. Claudia even wore her snake bracelet. Honestly, what did they think we were going to do? Enter a fashion show?

Oh, okay, I'll admit it. They looked great. And I was a teeny bit jealous. I wouldn't even know how to dress the way they do."

That could be a good thing.

I've come up with another motto (remember my last one? Better Than Jeopardy? It really caught on) for the blog. What Claudia Wore: I'm Huge In Australia.

Okay, maybe that's not, um, exactly true. But Jo of Oxfam Australia's 3things thinks I'm pretty cool. Which is practically the same thing. Check out her interview with me, in which I pontificate on environmentally friendly fashion & our favorite babysitter.

* "which was an old word of hers meaning 'to remember something really well.'" Oh, Stacey.