Readers' Request: Shannon's Story

I don't know about you guys, but I certainly don't remember requesting a story about Shannon. Yes, fine, I did find her mildly intriguing -- she went to private school and had a "ski jump nose" (she supposedly wanted a nosejob to straighten it out) and fastidious handwriting. She was also the BSC member most likely to end up in rehab for amphetamine addiction, based on her insane, perfectionistic lust for academics and extracurriculars. Which would have made a much more interesting story.

Instead we get a story about Shannon's overbearing mother and absentee lawyer father and unhappy rich people family dynamics. Shannon is pissed at her mom for chaperoning the class trip to Paris (must be nice to be a Stoneybrook Day School student, huh?), so she decides to intentionally fail her French exam (she is quick to inform us that she could have aced it). This means she can't go on the trip and eventually she -- yawn -- learns a valuable lesson about how boring it is to be a stay at home mom.

Judging by this cover, one of her younger sisters is colorblind (green, red, and white Cosby sweater paired with a purple jean skirt? Girrrl, even Claudia wouldn't go there) and struggling with an eating disorder*. Rich people: they're just like you and me! Except when they cry, their housekeepers wipe away the tears. With hundred dollar bills.

Shannon also occasionally attends BSC meetings. You know, to remind herself how the little people live.

"Given Stacey's style, it's not surprising that Claudia is her best friend. As I said earlier, Claudia is an artist, with her own unique vision of the world (a vision that does not include liking school or being an honor role** student!) and of the clothes she wears. For example, today Stacey looked ultra-city in black: black leggings, a black sweater, a big black belt with an oversized buckle, black Doc Martens, and her hair pulled back with a black and gold scarf that picked up the gold of the gold chain earrings she was wearing.

Claudia was beyond the city, maybe into outer space and looking outrageous, artistically terrific: an enormous pair of pants held up with a man's belt and a pair of neon purple suspenders, an enormous purple t-shirt over a tie-dyed long-underwear top, her long black hair pulled into a braid clipped at intervals with little-kid barrettes, and these dangly peace sign earrings."

So, wait. Does the enormous purple t-shirt just kinda blouse out around the suspenders? How does THAT work? I have so many questions about so many of Claudia's ensembles, which is a sure sign that it's time to up my dosage.

* Her legs are seriously freakin' me out here. At first I thought my scanner had somehow distorted the image, but that's really what the cover looks like. Also, I'd like to point out that Shannon only has one foot. Troubling.

** I believe they were looking for 'honor roll' here. But I could be wrong, I didn't attend Stoneybrook Day School.