Friday, June 11, 2010

Super Mystery #2: Baby-sitters Beware

This book is insane. There are like five different mysteries going on, and none of them really make all that much sense, and one of them ends with Mary Anne and Logan being like "hmm, I don't know, maybe it was a Cokie prank!" That's the resolution, seriously. This thing was hard to get through, and there wasn't even much fashion to compensate for the weak writing.

At least there was a hilarious cover pic. Pay attention, Andrew!

". . . for this early December meeting when most of us were in jeans and sweaters, Stacey (who is tall and on the thin side, with blonde hair and pale blue eyes) wore black leggings with cowboy boots, an oversized turtleneck sweater, and this cool black suede vest with pearl buttons. Claudia (who is Japanese-American with creamy, perfect skin, brown eyes, and long, straight black hair) was wearing leggings, too - purple ones - with black Doc Martens*, red slouch socks, black bicycle shorts over the leggings, a big t-shirt with the words "This Might Be Art" scrawled on it in purple (I knew she'd made it herself), and an old black suit jacket of her father's, with the sleeves rolled up. Stacey had gone for your basic gold earrings. Claudia's earrings were purple feathers (she made those herself, too)."

I would love a "This Might Be Art" t-shirt. I'd totally rock that outfit. From the waist up. I don't think I can get down with the leggings and bicycle shorts. I'll stick with my jeans.

Later, Stacey and Claudia take Mary Anne shopping for a big date with Logan. The outfit they come up with is not as exciting as the famous cities skirt outfit. There can only be one, folks.

"By the time we'd finished shopping, I added not a blue shirt but a very thin, lace-edged sweater to my wardrobe. I was going to wear it with a skirt, and one of Stacey's belts. I also bought new, patterned stockings, and Claudia promised to lend me a pair of earrings 'that would be awesome.'"

But what about the SHOES?!

* I think she means Dock Martins.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

But Claudia and I love Dock Martins!

Gawker got its hands on some internal memos regarding American Apparel's branding rules for retail workers. They are, as one would expect, fucking ridiculous. (I kind of agree that no one should wear Uggs ever, but I'm not going around making employment rules about it.)

I guess the good news is that they're looking for "late 80's - early 90's" looks, so Claudia and Stacey (but not Kristy!) would be more than welcome at one of their cattle casting calls.

Way to be, American Apparel.

Sunday, June 06, 2010

Need Supply: Claudia Would!
"Today, Claudia was wearing a casual (for her) outfit -- an oversized, cream-colored sweater and cuffed jeans. She'd cut holes into the sweater - she said it was part of her deconstructionist movement. (Kristy joked that it looked more like there'd been a moth movement in her closet.) Her necklace was made from strips of leftover fabric she'd braided together, and she finished the outfit with creamy lace up boots and a very acute black and white drawstring bag."

Similarly Claudia-approved items:

Those boots are the business. Look away, Kim.

Friday, June 04, 2010

Readers' Request: Shannon's Story

I don't know about you guys, but I certainly don't remember requesting a story about Shannon. Yes, fine, I did find her mildly intriguing -- she went to private school and had a "ski jump nose" (she supposedly wanted a nosejob to straighten it out) and fastidious handwriting. She was also the BSC member most likely to end up in rehab for amphetamine addiction, based on her insane, perfectionistic lust for academics and extracurriculars. Which would have made a much more interesting story.
Instead we get a story about Shannon's overbearing mother and absentee lawyer father and unhappy rich people family dynamics. Shannon is pissed at her mom for chaperoning the class trip to Paris (must be nice to be a Stoneybrook Day School student, huh?), so she decides to intentionally fail her French exam (she is quick to inform us that she could have aced it). This means she can't go on the trip and eventually she -- yawn -- learns a valuable lesson about how boring it is to be a stay at home mom.

Judging by this cover, one of her younger sisters is colorblind (green, red, and white Cosby sweater paired with a purple jean skirt? Girrrl, even Claudia wouldn't go there) and struggling with an eating disorder*. Rich people: they're just like you and me! Except when they cry, their housekeepers wipe away the tears. With hundred dollar bills.

Shannon also occasionally attends BSC meetings. You know, to remind herself how the little people live.

"Given Stacey's style, it's not surprising that Claudia is her best friend. As I said earlier, Claudia is an artist, with her own unique vision of the world (a vision that does not include liking school or being an honor role** student!) and of the clothes she wears. For example, today Stacey looked ultra-city in black: black leggings, a black sweater, a big black belt with an oversized buckle, black Doc Martens, and her hair pulled back with a black and gold scarf that picked up the gold of the gold chain earrings she was wearing.

Claudia was beyond the city, maybe into outer space and looking outrageous, artistically terrific: an enormous pair of pants held up with a man's belt and a pair of neon purple suspenders, an enormous purple t-shirt over a tie-dyed long-underwear top, her long black hair pulled into a braid clipped at intervals with little-kid barrettes, and these dangly peace sign earrings."

So, wait. Does the enormous purple t-shirt just kinda blouse out around the suspenders? How does THAT work? I have so many questions about so many of Claudia's ensembles, which is a sure sign that it's time to up my dosage.

* Her legs are seriously freakin' me out here. At first I thought my scanner had somehow distorted the image, but that's really what the cover looks like. Also, I'd like to point out that Shannon only has one foot. Troubling.
** I believe they were looking for 'honor roll' here. But I could be wrong, I didn't attend Stoneybrook Day School.