Thursday, July 29, 2010

You Too Can Wear Mary Anne Spier Approved Florals

from left to right: Rococo leggings ($40), Rose skinnies ($90), Floral skinnies ($90), Tapestry leggings ($40), Premium digital hareems ($110).
#60: Mary Anne's Makeover
I was so close to drawing little horns on the three sulking babysitters. At the very least, they could use a timeout, because they are acting like toddlers. It made this book a really annoying read. Also, Claudia is wearing a horrible outfit. I used to have to wear black skirts and loafers like that to chorus recitals. Where are the harem pants, the acid-washed jeans, the cowboy boots?

Pre-makeover Mary Anne wears "teal-colored stirrup pants and a bulky ski sweater with a colorful snowflake print, over a pink turtleneck."

Claudia "can put together the oddest collection of clothes - a slouch hat, a sequined vest, an oversized button-down shirt, stirrup pants, and lace-ip boots - and she looks stunning." And gets super hyped on lookbook!

Mary Anne wonders "how Claudia does it. Is she just beautiful, or can a person learn to look sensational?"

Post-haircut Mary Anne shops at Steven E, which is "one of the mall's fanciest clothing boutiques." And she "couldn't take [her] eyes off this outfit. It was a fiery red, off-the-shoulder crepe dress, with shirred sleeves, a fitted bodice, and skirt that flared to mid-calf. It was the kind of dress the old [Mary Anne] would never have dreamed of wearing." That's probably a good thing. I have to remind myself that this is the 90s, 'cause that dress sounds hideous.

New Mary Anne's Steven E haul: "the dress; some stockings and a pair of shoes to go with it; an oversized, indigo cable-knit sweater; and a pair of floral paisley print Lycra leggings with a French terry top."

The rest of the book is about the BSC throwing snitfits about Mary Anne deciding to cut her hair and wear makeup. In the end, it turns out they were mostly just mad she kept it a secret. Because god forbid anyone make a decision on their own. What a scary little hivemind they've developed in a single (constantly repeating) school year*!

And then they all go to the dance together.

Dawn wears a dress "made of black velvet, with a sheer bodice trimmed with beading and lace, and a flared, above-knee skirt. With black stockings and shoes, and her hair pulled up in a French braid, Dawn looked absolutely breathtaking."

A sheer bodice? That's some permissive California parenting right there. Or Sharon was too stoned to notice.

"There were other spectacular sights, too. Like Kristy Thomas trying to walk with heels in a long dress (she kicked them off about two minutes after she got to the gym). And Claudia Kishi, wearing a lamé outfit that was all sharp angles and flashy colors. [So Gaga!] And Stacey McGill, looking as if she had stepped out of a Hollywood movie in a slinky silk gown that belonged to her mother. [Permissive NYC parenting.] Her date was Sam Thomas, Kristy's older brother, who kept grossing people out with a rubber tarantula until Stacey asked him to stop."

I so wanted to date Sam Thomas when I was nine. He was totally dreamy.

* They were way cooler in the seventh grade.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Super Special #13: Aloha, Baby-sitters!
These bitches. I was just saying that Hawaii would be a pretty damn cool vacation spot, and then today I remembered that (as usual) a bunch of fictional thirteen year olds are waaaay better traveled than I am.

This trip is some school excursion, and everyone* gets to go except for Mallory**, because she's practically a member of the Duggar family. (Okay, the Pikes are just rational people who were like "hmm, send our eleven year old on an expensive Hawaiian vacation? No thanks." As this is an extremely practical viewpoint, it is not shared by any of the other parents.) So the concept behind this book is that it's a travel journal put together by the more fortunate babysitters as a gift to Mallory. I don't know. If all of my best friends were going off on a trip together, I feel like maybe a better gift would be some new Fryes, not a scrapbook documenting the totally awesome times they had without me.

No wonder Mallory ends up fleeing Stoneybrook for boarding school.

In the introductions, we learn that Claudia buys "the ugliest junk at thrift shops and somehow turns it into cool outfits. Stacey wears great clothes, too, but her theory of fashion is more cool-at-the-store, cool-on-the-body. Her style is Young Sophisticate. (At least that's the name of the section she shops in at Bellair's department store.)"

Young Sophisticate? So that's where she's getting all those wool slacks.

We also learn that "if a study showed that grass was nutritious, Dawn would graze for her supper." Ah, Kristy. I feel like she and I would be really good -- steak-eating, denim-wearing -- friends. Maybe I would pull her aside for a talk about the dorky white sneakers and baggy socks.

Abby Stevenson's Patented Suitcase Packing Method: "I went to my dresser and removed the contents of Drawer Number One, and shoved it into the suitcase. All underwear and bathing suits. About three-quarters of Drawer Number Two (summer shirts) made it, and the same with Drawer Number Three (shorts, skirts). Then I human-vacuumed the bottom of my closet for shoes and dumped them in, too."

Customary "Claudia Is An Overpacker" Paragraph: "Claudia arrived last (surprise, surprise). We peered through the window as her family tried to load two enormous suitcases into the jammed cargo hold. It was like watching a pair of tardy hippos crowding onto Noah's Ark."


That's all the fashion you get in the text, so here are some notable plot points:
  • Abby gets cast in a sunscreen commercial, simply because she's hot and sporty. She pretends she's 18 and somehow everyone buys it.
  • Pearl Harbor gives Claudia a massive guilt complex about being Japanese. She's kind of a bummer to be around.
  • Stacey and a couple other SMS students get into a helicopter crash and are lost for a day or so. Naturally, this turns into a diabetic emergency.
  • Jessi spends so much time documenting the trip that she barely even gets to experience it.
  • Dawn cleans up a beach. She and Jessi both really need to learn how to relax.

* Including Dawn, who now lives in California. So she flew out to see her mom for the summer and then immediately decided to peace out and go to Hawaii instead. Such a kind, considerate young lady.
** Actually, Kristy doesn't go either. Why? Well, because Watson is taking the entire Thomas-Brewer clan to Hawaii later in the summer. So you can save your tears.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

I Guess Claudia's Working For Free People These Days

Remember her "dangly Native American beaded earrings" from book #71? She "made them [her]self from a bead pattern [she] saw in a museum." Well, she's either designing for Free People or is one of their buyers, 'cause check these babies out.
I have definitely seen that pattern in a museum, dudes.
So I had my suspicions. Then I checked out their shoe section (I know, you're shocked). And what did I see?
Yeah. That's right. Sandals with laces that wrap around your calves. More than one pair, in fact.
Case closed.

Pretty solid hiring decision on Free People's part, right? I mean, as long as they don't let her write any product descriptions.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Comparing Closets with Claudia

Taking a break from unpacking (not sure this was the best time to reorganize my entire filing system) to say hello to my friends (you!). The house is coming along, with a few exceptions. One of those exceptions is the second bedroom, which is currently home to eventual yard sale items (who wants a really, really heavy television? anyone?). Some day in the future, it's gonna be my shrine to shoes.

It sounds a little excessive, I know. But the closet at my last apartment looked like this, only with less hidden candy:
So you can see why I'm relishing the opportunity to spread things out a little. By the way, this image is from Raina Telgemeier's adaptation of Claudia and Mean Janine, which is amazing. I wish there'd been more of those and less of these. (The larger version is on tumblr, blogspot is being wonky again.)

Until I get things under control in the bedroom, I'm only willing to share this corner.

Please note my complete collection of Super Specials, which are gonna need to go elsewhere if I buy any more heels. (Inevitable.)

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Starring Dakota Fanning as Stacey McGill

I just realized I haven't updated in almost a month. I did tell you guys I was moving, right? Shit, I don't think I did. I'm still in the immediate aftermath, which means I'm spending most of my time running around in my nightgown trying to get the house to look like "the place I live" and not "the place where I store my awesome collection of cardboard boxes." Also sometimes I take breaks for martinis and/or mexican food. But mostly it's house stuff.

Until things are a little more settled, I submit for your consideration a picture of Dakota Fanning at some sort of BSC fan convention. I guess she came dressed as Stacey McGill (so New York!). That's cool.
So . . . is she wearing all 188 accessory ideas in this picture? There is a lot going on here.