Wednesday, July 25, 2007

#19: Claudia and the Bad Joke

Boy, Betsy Sobak sure was a brat, wasn't she.

"She always wears the same kind of outfit - blue jeans, running shoes, a turtleneck, and a sweater. There's nothing wrong with that, but there are other things to wear. I mean, she could try a floppy bow in her hair or some interesting ponytail holders, or some big earrings. That's what I would do. But then, I'm not Kristy."

And thank the lord for that, Claud. Maybe my hatred of sneakers originates with Kristy Thomas. I sure wasn't put off by the turtleneck-sweater combo, because there is some horrific photographic evidence of me rocking that particular fashion statement. 'Nuff said.

"Also, I love to mess around with clothes and jewelry. I might as well just come out and say it [yes, please do] - I'm one of the coolest-looking kids in Stoneybrook Middle School. I know that sounds conceited, but everyone agrees it's true. [We never doubted you, Claud.] I wear wild clothes, such as baggy pants and sweaters, high top sneakers, and jewelry I make myself. For instance, at the film festival, I was wearing earrings made of wooden beads that I'd painted. My hair is long and jet-black, and I'm always experimenting with different ways to fix it or decorate it."

And onward to the plot, in which the aforementioned brat plays a lot of stupid tricks on her baby-sitters but is taught a Valuable Lesson by Kristy when the tables are turned and Betsy is embarrassed in front of school chums. Turns out nobody likes her, most likely because she's constantly giving them trick gum or something.

"When she got control of herself, she managed to gasp out, 'Gotcha! The fly is fake. It's in a fake ice cube! And I gave you a dribble glass!'

'Well, that's just great, Betsy,' I said. I knew that, as a baby-sitter, I wasn't supposed to get sarcastic, but sheesh. 'Now I've got apple juice all over my white shirt.'

Betsy couldn't have known it, but the shirt was one I'd made myself. I'd taken a shirt of my dad's, painted it, and sewn sequins all over it. It had taken ages to do, and the shirt was very special to me."

This is the kind of thing I marveled at. The painted sequined shirt. Oh, Claudia! So innovative. So cutting edge.