Monday, April 27, 2009

Shopping with Claudia: How Psyched Are You For Summer?

Yeah, me too. Today was ridiculously warm and summery and maxidress-worthy. (I know, maxidresses are a polarizing item, the topic of much debate. Personally, I love 'em. They're California Casual, guys! Totally Schafer-approved.) Since the shoe buying moratorium is still in place (I will admit to trying on a pair of Chloe knockoffs by Dolce Vita at T.J. Maxx today), I'll limit my seasonally-trigged shopping jones to window shopping at etsy.

Kishi-approved vintage (
later in the series the ghostwriters started describing her as a thrift-store junkie, remember?) footwear below. Including a pair of ankle wrap sandals - you know how Claudia feels about shoes that lace up your calves.
Salina strappy sandals - size 10
Liz Wear fringe wrap sandals - size 6.5
Mixed Blues tricolor huraches - size 8.5
Pikolinos slingback sandals - size 7
Guijada handcarved clogs - size 9
Rieker laceup gladiators - size 6.5

Those purple Guijada heels . . . damn. Please, someone buy them and give them the love they deserve. They're amazing.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

#67: Dawn's Big Move

Sweet fancy Moses! Look at all that fashion! Put it all on me!How could Dawn leave her best friends? Easily. And to answer the follow up question ("but why?"): probably because her California friends are way more interesting and don't cry at Hallmark commercials. She's ready to trade diaper changes for eating disorders, and I don't think we should judge her for that. But that's not really my point.

I don't have the book with me, but I can guarantee you that the plot is most likely "I miss sunshine it's frikkin' cold on the East Coast alright I'm outta here but I'll be back soon and then I'll leave again forever because I like toying with Mary Anne's emotions and that Ann M. Martin woman said something about my own spinoff series." So we're just going to look at the cover, which is awe-inspiring enough to deserve its own entry. (I mean, if you're willing to put up with all the shoe posts, you're probably willing to put up with just about anything. I plan to test this theory next week with a fascinating blog entry about proper use of the subjunctive*. Stay tuned! Riveting content ahead!)

Kristy is totally over the rest of these hos. At least, that's what I'm gleaning from her body language and facial expression. Her sneakers are clunky and blindingly white. Her jeans are baggy and, like, cornflower blue. Her neck is turtled. The only element of surprise here is the sweater. Would Kristy Thomas really wear a sweater adorned by a row of pink daisies? I call shenanigans.

Stacey thinks her poor man's prep school look is going to get her into Constance Billard. Listen Stacey, only one member at a time can flee this coop, and it is not your turn. You can drop the club later when you discover the joys of shoplifting, but best believe you will never be a Waldorf minion. No matter how pleated your skirts are.

Mary Anne is wearing some sort of pointy toe oxford or boot exactly like the ones I see on modern day male hipsters in frighteningly tight jeans. Her jeans are unremarkable. The shirt, however, raises all kinds of questions. What the hell is going on there? It's salmon, it's got a mandarin collar, and it's ornamented by puke splashes, like maybe she had an early a.m. babysitting job with a sickly child. Why didn't she go home and change? Why does she have the same haircut as Jonathan Taylor Thomas? Why do I care?

Dawn is tired of Texas Tuxedo Classic and is thusly choosing to mix it up by switching out her ill-fitting blue jeans for ill-fitting black jeans. She is also rocking that scrunchy. Totally tubular!

Our Heroine needs to consider wearing longer shirts with her leggings. But I'm a kind soul and I can forgive (unless you're Stacey). Especially since this outfit really sums up what The Kishi is all about: cowboy boots, wacky-ass patterns (her weapon in the war against normalcy!), side ponytails, and unattractive hats. (After extensive zooming, possibly also earrings the size of jar lids.) Work it out, girl. A+.

* Not really.
Photo credit: dibbly-fresh.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Super Special #10: Sea City, Here We Come!*

"And then I could start thinking about serious things. Like which bikinis to take to Sea City."

The above quote reflects Claudia's frame of mind on the last day of summer school. Feel ya, girl. In fact, this is exactly how I feel about my impending graduation. I just want it to be over with so I can start thinking about how many times I will need to change my shoes during my wacky Sea City vacation.

When Claudia pulls her suitcase out of her closet, she finds three bags of pretzels. "So," she narrates, "we snacked while we packed." I'm telling you this because when I read that line my mind immediately went to Xzibit** (yo babysitting-dawg I hurd u like pretzels and travels so I put Rold Gold in ur Samsonite so u can snack while u pack***) and then I had to roll my eyes at myself for knowing so much about internet memes and so little about . . . well, anything of importance, really.

Moving on. Natural disasters follow the babysitters wherever they go, so it's only logical that a "gigantic" hurricane named Bill (we're pretty tight; I'm going to refer to him as Billy) comes along to test everyone's mettle****. Mr. Pike tells everyone to run and pack a few clothes ("enough for two days, tops") within fifteen minutes. This is challenging for Claudia.

"I was having a dilemma. I was wearing the only long pants I had packed, these overdyed navy jeans [more details, please]. I was also wearing a loose black cotton sweater over a white tank top. So if I packed my big purple Hawaiian shorts [I did the mental math for you and came up with a horrifying image, so let's just move on quickly], which were the next warmest pants, I'd be stuck having to wear an orange striped shirt [like clashing horribly has ever stopped her before?], which was the only long-sleeved one I'd brought. Unless I wore the sweater again over it . . .

'Uh, Claud?' Kristy said. 'Bill is a hurricane, you know - not a fashion show judge.'"

I kind of love Kristy Thomas. Bitch is hilar.

"I ended up packing three outfits - one in case it was cold and rainy, one in case it was warm and rainy, and one really nice one to change into if necessary (or if the weather cleared up). I thought that was very sensible. Oh, and some extra shoes and big bag of Mars bars I'd stashed away for a rainy day."

She did a way better job than I usually do, that's for sure. Last time I went back to my hometown I brought a pair of beaded flip flops, a pair of 4 inch cutout wedge sandals (I really enjoy the illusion of height) and a pair of thrifted oxfords which clearly once belonged to someone's adorably blue-haired grandmother. Since it was early frikkin' April in New York, guess which two pairs went totally unworn?

* Part 1. Mallory's makeover deserves a separate entry.
** worth watching.
*** I'm sure you can come up with better. I encourage you to do so - especially if there's hilarious photoshopping involved.
**** Mrs. Barrett exhibits (xzibits) an underwhelming amount of mettle, so Stacey steps in and assumes pretty much all parenting duties. The Babysitters Club: enabling negligent parents since 1986!

Monday, April 13, 2009

A Moment with Kim: Shoe Buying Moratorium* Temporarily Lifted

Because . . . I mean . . . come on.
Remember a while back, when I mentioned the whole 90's revival we're experiencing? I said something about how I wasn't sure if I was pro or anti, but maybe I'd, like, break out my high school collection of Doc Martens. At least one of you was like "oh honey I would reconsider that." And I see your point, especially since my Docs were mostly of the chunky oxford variety. Plus, I wasn't sure they were really my thing. Until I saw these ridiculous Docs (1460 W Goldilocks). I mean, I'm basically wearing wallpaper ON MY FEET. You know that if I'd been shopping with our girl, she would have bought a pair too.

They were also a pretty sweet deal - $30 marked down from $109 at Famous Footwear. I am going to be stomping around in these things like nobody's business.

* The moratorium was put into place after I stumbled upon a pair of Frye Carmen boots for 60% off at Urban Outfitters. Extremely irresponsible. Totally worth it.

Friday, April 10, 2009

A Moment with the Concept of 'Hipster': Not Just Parliaments and PBRs! (They Are Still Important.)

Thanks to tumblr and hipsterrunoff, I'm completely saturated with sarcastic and hilarious information about what it truly means to be a hipster. I recently looked up 'hipster' on urbandictionary (favorite definition: "You, for reading ironic, pseudo-intellectual dictionary entries on the word 'hipster'."), which led to me bein' all shame-faced and reaching for nail polish remover to get rid of the chipped black polish I may or may not have been wearing.

If you've yet to read Jeffro's Anatomy of a Hipster posts, go waste some time doing so. They are brilliant. Below are some of my favorites (disclaimer: no personal relevancy, of course - I am a magically original creature!*).
  • They are otherwise unable to read things that are not in big, bold Helvetica.
  • If you say "indie" ten times in the dark and in front of a mirror, Julian Casablancas will appear and blow cigarette smoke in your face.
  • They hate the mainstream, socio-political machine, but holy shit, do they love IKEA.
  • They prefer to have a full bed or larger so they have room to sleep with their MacBook, iPhone, Moleskine, a pile of dirty American Apparel clothes, a copy of last month's "Nylon", an ashtray full of Parliaments, and an empty beer bottle or two.
  • Crazy-ass patterns on hats and hoodies act as a hipster's camouflage in the war against normalcy.
  • They accessorize a lot so when their egos become too inflated, they'll be anchored and won't float away.
  • Hipster bars smell like unwashed armpits and arrogance.
  • Each one is waiting for someone else to say, "Wait. They don't love you like I love you..."
  • Most girls love Ed Westwick because they want a guy who is able to lock tongues passionately, be viciously spiteful, and then pass out in a drunken stupor -- all within the span of 3 minutes.
  • They'll express their love by burning you a mixed CD of obscure bands they think you should start listening to.
  • They don't shower because it's too mainstream.**
  • Guys make passes at girls with thick glasses.
* If you can't sense the sarcasm, we haven't been properly introduced. Maybe I should include relevant links to all the items on my tumblr which would serve as embarrassing illustrations of my overwhelming originality. I'll limit it to this. Oh, and this, because I have made that statement before in complete (if self-deprecating) earnest.
** Some of them are just lazy. I mean, not that I would know.