Wednesday, February 04, 2009

#63: Claudia's Freind Friend

Man, I gotta figure out my winter footwear situation. Yesterday I made the mistake of wearing my campus boots, which have no traction whatsoever. I slid around a lot and stumbled/half-fell while trying to scale the rock-hard lump of snow and ice between the sidewalk and the bus. So this morning I was all "well, I won't repeat THAT mistake!" and decided to wear a pair of Doc Martens. On my walk to the bus stop, I realized they weren't much better than the campus boots. "Be careful getting on the bus, self," I warned.

I never listen to me.

Yeah, I fell. And not a little bit. I nearly slid all the way under the damn bus. (And I lost my hat, which I didn't realize until I got to work. I'm bummed - it was a cute knitted hipster-beret from h&m and it was the perfect shade of rust orange.) Some people, after suffering such a humiliation, would probably put it out of their mind and try not to think about it. I, on the other hand, whipped out my phone and started texting people about my grace, elegance, and snow-covered ass. And now I'm blogging about it.

Maybe later I will perform some dramatic reenactments.

This would never happen to Claudia . . . but if it did she'd probably make a collage about it.

"I guess you could say I am a student of fashion, too. I like clothes: colors, textures, surprises. (Which makes me a sort of ongoing work of art, I guess.) But I do think I have a unique style, and a good one, too. In fact (although this may sound conceited [you've earned it, no worries]), except for one other person at SMS, I think I am the fashion czar, or czarina, or whatever. This other person is Stacey, who is my best friend and the treasurer of the Baby-sitters Club."

There's no competition, Claud.

"I jumped down the last two front steps of the school and landed by Stacey.

She gave me a sideways glance and then said, 'If I got a pair of purple high-tops, could I do that?'

'Only if you have ankle socks with lavender lace trim.'"

Did your mom make you wear ankle socks with lace trim? Mine did.

"I was giggling at the memory of the perfume disaster* when Kristy said, 'Dress up? What do you mean, dress up?' Kristy is a full-fledged tomboy, and a dedicated casual dresser. She almost always wears jeans, a turtleneck shirt, and sneakers.

I looked thoughtful.

'Well, I was thinking of a long dress, some high heels, maybe doing something really special with my hair.' [More special than the Pebbles ponytail?]

Stacey caught on right away.

'Excellent idea, Claudia. I've got a terrific three-quarter length ballerina skirt and this cool crop top jacket.' [Oh you do, do you?]

'Skirts! Heels! I was thinking maybe a special shirt to go with my good jeans.'

Kristy, our fearless BSC president, looked so alarmed that we couldn't help ourselves, and we started laughing. After a moment, she laughed, too.

'You got me,' she admitted**."

What Claudia wore to babysit the Rodowsky kids: "basic jeans and big old shirt. It's my spill-proof, accident-proof outfit, and when you baby-sit for Jackie . . . that kind of fashion planning is key."

Nannie Thomas is supa fly: "Nannie was wearing a pink silk dress with a wide twisted silver and pink sash, sparkly silvery earrings, and these really cool flat pale silver slippers."

"On Saturday afternoon I stood in my closet, staring at my clothes. Normally, I don't mind being in the closet. [Neither does Zac Efron.] But the usual closet rules that make it interesting - avoid wearing the exact same outfit twice [Adult Claudia probably has a lot of credit card debt], be outrageous [truly, truly, truly outrageous], and look cool AND terrific - didn't exactly apply today."

I wonder what Claudia's rules say about falling over in front of a bunch of strangers. I tried my best to look cool AND terrific.

* Reference to the Shadow Lake trip - Karen and company doused themselves with (quote) "Lovely Lady perfume", basically smelling up the entire lake with Eau de Baby Prostitute. God, Karen was so annoying. Even as an 8 year old I could recognize that she was a total pain in the ass.

** Ghostwriter missed an opportunity here: Kristy spent the rest of the chapter contemplating revenge. No one 'gets' Kristy Thomas!


FruGal said...

Don't worry about falling under the bus - I saw a girl shoot off the back of a treadmill in the gym last night. And she just picked herself up and got back on as if nothing had happened; as if it was a regular occurance; as if the whole gym wasn't staring at her. I was so busy trying not to laugh I too almost shot off the back of my own treadmill.

emily said...

As long as no one gets hurt, falling on your butt in the snow and ice is like a community-unifying gift you give to the world. I saw a dapper dude take a spill last night, and the only other witness was an old lady, and we all joked and laughed as he picked himself up -- "no one saw that!" etc -- and of course we would never have interacted in any other circumstances. Charming! Also I saw a goose slip on the ice on the pond in Prospect Park and fall on its goose butt on Sunday and it was the funniest thing ever.

Anna said...


I do not personally own a pair, but I gave some to my dad for Christmas. He's been raving about their awesomeness to anyone who will listen ever since. He is not the type of person who gets super excited over things like that, so they must be good!

tinydancer124 said...

I was totally going to comment on your graceful fall, but then I saw the Zac Efron comment you made and all other thoughts immediately left my head. Omg, I about died laughing!

Glad you're okay! :)

Laura @ Hungry and Frozen said...

Just don't wear plum coloured trousers if you think you might fall over in the snow...they leave streaks! (just ask Stacey and the Cheerleaders)

Eau de Baby Prostitute - ha! and Ha! again. I'm pretty sure that's what some high school girls were wearing on my bus home the other day.

vietkate said...

[So does Zac Efron.]


Laura said...

i love the Jem reference!!

Lauren Stacks said...

I just wanted to say that my friend told me about your blog so I stopped by and I totally love it! I was actually a Stacy sort of girl, but I had both the Stacy and the Claudia BBC dolls :)

So@24 said...

Who liked Kristy anyway?

Genevieve said...

Hello! Blog stalker here, first time poster. In any of your upcoming blog posts do you plan on spotlighting Cookie whatsherface? Or did you already? My mom memorable BSC books are the ones where she is a huge beotch. I love reading about beotches.


jb said...

All I wear is frye boots and flips flops. Honestly. I have 4 pairs of the former and 4 pairs of the latter, and it seems to do just fine.
Anyhow, I lost the left sole of my "work" fryes (which probably aren't really acceptable work shoes, but that's another story) and it's raining here, so I can be fairly confident that I won't slip on the right side, but the left I need to be careful with.
It seems like a little too much for one person to keep track of, but that's just me.

Gina said...

Whoa-oh-oh Jem! Love it! Your blog brings back so many memories.

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