Wednesday, April 22, 2009

#67: Dawn's Big Move

Sweet fancy Moses! Look at all that fashion! Put it all on me!How could Dawn leave her best friends? Easily. And to answer the follow up question ("but why?"): probably because her California friends are way more interesting and don't cry at Hallmark commercials. She's ready to trade diaper changes for eating disorders, and I don't think we should judge her for that. But that's not really my point.

I don't have the book with me, but I can guarantee you that the plot is most likely "I miss sunshine it's frikkin' cold on the East Coast alright I'm outta here but I'll be back soon and then I'll leave again forever because I like toying with Mary Anne's emotions and that Ann M. Martin woman said something about my own spinoff series." So we're just going to look at the cover, which is awe-inspiring enough to deserve its own entry. (I mean, if you're willing to put up with all the shoe posts, you're probably willing to put up with just about anything. I plan to test this theory next week with a fascinating blog entry about proper use of the subjunctive*. Stay tuned! Riveting content ahead!)

Kristy is totally over the rest of these hos. At least, that's what I'm gleaning from her body language and facial expression. Her sneakers are clunky and blindingly white. Her jeans are baggy and, like, cornflower blue. Her neck is turtled. The only element of surprise here is the sweater. Would Kristy Thomas really wear a sweater adorned by a row of pink daisies? I call shenanigans.

Stacey thinks her poor man's prep school look is going to get her into Constance Billard. Listen Stacey, only one member at a time can flee this coop, and it is not your turn. You can drop the club later when you discover the joys of shoplifting, but best believe you will never be a Waldorf minion. No matter how pleated your skirts are.

Mary Anne is wearing some sort of pointy toe oxford or boot exactly like the ones I see on modern day male hipsters in frighteningly tight jeans. Her jeans are unremarkable. The shirt, however, raises all kinds of questions. What the hell is going on there? It's salmon, it's got a mandarin collar, and it's ornamented by puke splashes, like maybe she had an early a.m. babysitting job with a sickly child. Why didn't she go home and change? Why does she have the same haircut as Jonathan Taylor Thomas? Why do I care?

Dawn is tired of Texas Tuxedo Classic and is thusly choosing to mix it up by switching out her ill-fitting blue jeans for ill-fitting black jeans. She is also rocking that scrunchy. Totally tubular!

Our Heroine needs to consider wearing longer shirts with her leggings. But I'm a kind soul and I can forgive (unless you're Stacey). Especially since this outfit really sums up what The Kishi is all about: cowboy boots, wacky-ass patterns (her weapon in the war against normalcy!), side ponytails, and unattractive hats. (After extensive zooming, possibly also earrings the size of jar lids.) Work it out, girl. A+.

* Not really.
Photo credit: dibbly-fresh.


Sadako said...

I never got why Stacey was in the middle of this cover and not Dawn. Wrong blonde girl, Hodges!

molly said...

gotta say, claudia's lookin' that hat and leggings combo

damned_cat said...

you don't know me from adam, but i love you so much. almost as much as i love my hollowed-out book and the stale tootsie rolls hidden inside.

janelle said...

can we please discuss JTT's bitchin outfit? please?

Summer said...


Thank you so much for this blog. It's brilliant.

zoe said...

Obviously, Kristy's sweater was knitted by Nanny. I mean, really.

Rachael said...

I would read about the subjunctive tense if you were to blog about it.

Laura @ Hungry and Frozen said...

There's something not quiiiite right about Stacey's face in this picture...

Oh JTT, I had totally forgotten about you! My heart pounded more for Devon Sawa though. Whatever happened to HIM?

Rebecca said...

Oh man I am going to IMDB JTT right now to see if he has any new projects coming up.

Rebecca said...

Actually it's kind of a horror show:

The Extra (2006/I) (as Jonathan Thomas) .... Director

Thru the Moebius Strip (2005) (voice) .... Prince Ragis

Tilt-A-Whirl (2005) .... Customer #3

"Veronica Mars" .... Ben (1 episode, 2005)

You know, I used to be really pleased that Jonathan Taylor Thomas and I were from the same town. Now what do I have? The Rock? That guy from Lost? Oh well.

Children of the Nineties said...

This blog is pure brilliance. I love the literal translations of all of the characters major attributes and their poses and props on this book cover.

You're also completely right about the hipster takeover of Mary Anne's hideous shoes. At South by Southwest I saw more of these than I could count.

newnurseinthehood said...

Dear lord, that song is horrific. I DO NOT want to see you in those clothes. Not that they would fit over those terrifying grapefruits sewn to Heidi's chest wall anyway, yikes.

Catherine said...

I like the idea of your blog - with the BSC references and all BUT you have possibly the worst fashion taste I've ever seen! Sorry!

Sabrina said...

Your blog is wonderfully awesome.
I work in a Library and I just took this book out of our system because it was pretty beat up. Kids still read the babysitter club series! And I still recommend it to any young girl that says, What's a good series to read?... Ah Duh, BABY SITTERS CLUB!!!!
It's nice to know that someone else out there shares a love for Claudia too! :)

emily said...

Hey, does anybody remember the BSC Activity Clubhouse computer game? It's Windows 98 old. It was pretty entertaining though.

Elle said...

"Her neck is turtled"

I can't even begin to form a sentence. Pure gold.

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