Friday, April 10, 2009

A Moment with the Concept of 'Hipster': Not Just Parliaments and PBRs! (They Are Still Important.)

Thanks to tumblr and hipsterrunoff, I'm completely saturated with sarcastic and hilarious information about what it truly means to be a hipster. I recently looked up 'hipster' on urbandictionary (favorite definition: "You, for reading ironic, pseudo-intellectual dictionary entries on the word 'hipster'."), which led to me bein' all shame-faced and reaching for nail polish remover to get rid of the chipped black polish I may or may not have been wearing.

If you've yet to read Jeffro's Anatomy of a Hipster posts, go waste some time doing so. They are brilliant. Below are some of my favorites (disclaimer: no personal relevancy, of course - I am a magically original creature!*).
  • They are otherwise unable to read things that are not in big, bold Helvetica.
  • If you say "indie" ten times in the dark and in front of a mirror, Julian Casablancas will appear and blow cigarette smoke in your face.
  • They hate the mainstream, socio-political machine, but holy shit, do they love IKEA.
  • They prefer to have a full bed or larger so they have room to sleep with their MacBook, iPhone, Moleskine, a pile of dirty American Apparel clothes, a copy of last month's "Nylon", an ashtray full of Parliaments, and an empty beer bottle or two.
  • Crazy-ass patterns on hats and hoodies act as a hipster's camouflage in the war against normalcy.
  • They accessorize a lot so when their egos become too inflated, they'll be anchored and won't float away.
  • Hipster bars smell like unwashed armpits and arrogance.
  • Each one is waiting for someone else to say, "Wait. They don't love you like I love you..."
  • Most girls love Ed Westwick because they want a guy who is able to lock tongues passionately, be viciously spiteful, and then pass out in a drunken stupor -- all within the span of 3 minutes.
  • They'll express their love by burning you a mixed CD of obscure bands they think you should start listening to.
  • They don't shower because it's too mainstream.**
  • Guys make passes at girls with thick glasses.
* If you can't sense the sarcasm, we haven't been properly introduced. Maybe I should include relevant links to all the items on my tumblr which would serve as embarrassing illustrations of my overwhelming originality. I'll limit it to this. Oh, and this, because I have made that statement before in complete (if self-deprecating) earnest.
** Some of them are just lazy. I mean, not that I would know.


brista said...

I am reading this post as I'm listening to Maps by The Yeah Yeah Yeahs and just as I read, "Each one is waiting for someone else to say, "Wait. They don't love you like I love you..."", the song chorus starts. Which just so happens to be..."Wait. They don't love you like I love you..."


sweet jane. said...

Some of us-- oops, I mean them of course-- have just discovered dry shampoo and are never looking back.

eleanor hope said...

dude. you are so funny. even though i love the hipster scene, i do have to laugh because it's so true.

and sweet jane, i have yet to buy n relish the wonders of dry shampoo. sephora, here i come. stock up. (ha just kidding).

ibrahim said...

Really trustworthy blog. Please keep updating with great posts like this one. I have booked marked your site and am about to email it to a few friends of mine that I know would enjoy reading
Sesli sohbet Sesli chat
Seslisohbet Seslichat
Sesli sohbet siteleri Sesli chat siteleri
Sesli Chat
Sohbet Sesli siteler
Sohbet siteleri Chat siteleri
Sohbet merkezi chat merkezi
Sesli merkezi sesli Sohbet merkezi
Sesli chat merkezi Sohbetmerkezi
Sesli Sohbet Sesli Chat
SesliSohbet Sesli chat siteleri
Sesli sohbet siteleri SesliChat
Sesli Sesli siteler
Seslimuhabbet sesli muhabbet
sesli sohbet sesli chat siteleri
sesli sohbet siteleri sesli chat
seslisohbet seslichat
seslikent sesli kent
sesli sohbet sesli sohbet siteleri
sesli chat sesli chat siteleri
seslisohbet seslichat

Post a Comment